Speak Slowly and Pronounce all the Letters.

Kenyans rarely pronounce the letter R, when speaking, and every vowel is pronounced separately. The letter u is pronounced as “ah, while U is pronounced oo.

This can make it difficult to understand certain words when they are said quickly in conversation.

Eg “Look at the chat over there,” is actually, “Look at the chart over there.”

“compoota” is of course, computer

“tawtos” is in fact tortoise.

“Shooah” is sure.

I really struggled for a while to get the meaning of waath og but eventually worked out that it was warthog.

My ear is definitely becoming more attuned to this, after three weeks, but there was a spectacular misunderstanding last week.

Bonface and I were in his car, on our way to Kiserian to do some shopping.  He saw a man at the side of the road who waved him down.  So he stopped to talk to him. After a general, polite greeting, the conversation switched to  Kiswahilli so I had no idea what they were talking about.  After five minutes later, as we drove off, Bonface explained that the man was supposed to have built and delivered two netball stands to the school, two months ago. He finished the story by saying, “He is a bastard.”

That’s a bit strong, I thought, but said nothing.  However, Bonface noticed the surprised expression on my face, so repeated the whole story slowly, being careful to enunciate all the words, finishing with, “He is a pastor.”

I burst out laughing and when I explained what I thought I had heard, Bonface nearly crashed the car because tears were streaming down his face and he was bent double with laughing so much.

It has become a little bit of an ongoing joke between us and has included:

That one is a well-known pastor

He is thinking of a career as a pastor – he has natural talent

Let me introduce you to a well–respected pastor

Is he a pastor or an absolute pastor?

Juvenile, I know but entertaining none the less.